Crash
by ShadowKira
Summary: Inspired by the upcoming episode, Acceptable Loss. Who says Amanda is the only one who's love is unrequited? Song fic, Rolivia.


**Disclaimer****:** Characters are not mine, just borrowing them. Also, you might want tissues.

Lyrics are Coldplay's "The Scientist"

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_ You don't know how lovely you are_

_ I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_ Tell you I set you apart_

_x  
_

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, she stared around weakly. Her eyes were going in and out of focus and there was a loud ringing in her ears.

She heard talking but could not comprehend the words at first, "You guys alright back there?"

It was Amaro, he sounded distant and weak but at least he was talking.

"I'm here, my heads ringing but I think I am alright." The brunette heard herself answer, she was slowly testing to make sure the rest of her body was okay. She wiggled her toes, flexed her hands and slowly began to turn her head.

As she did she noticed the glass that littered the seat next to her and the bloody hand beneath it.

Olivia's eyes rose slowly, her breath catching in her throat as she remembered she had not been alone in the back seat.

The cab was dark, dim light streaming in from the street light and the flashing four ways of the tractor trailer were the only reason Olivia could even see.

She carefully removed her seat belt and leaned over closer to the blonde, "Amanda?" She croaked, her voice faint even to her own ears.

There was no response from the younger woman, Olivia frowned as she noticed the dark trail of crimson coming from Amanda's right temple.

Her hand trembled as she raised it to push some of the blonde hair back, her fingers brushing against soft flesh as she searched for a pulse.

Olivia's breath held for a moment until finally a thready heartbeat met her fingertips, she sat back slightly. Relief flooding her as she reached down to the floor to retrieve her phone from her jacket.

xxx

Almost twenty four hours had passed since the crash, Amaro and Olivia had been evacuated first. Their injuries hadn't appeared to be very severe at the time but despite protests from both detectives the paramedics had loaded them into an ambulance.

Fin and Munch had updated them upon their arrival to the hospital, it had taken five hours to get Amanda out of the wreckage. Olivia hadn't realized it but the car door had buckled under the force of the collision. Part of the door had pinned Amanda's right leg to the seat, cutting deeply into the flesh of her thigh.

Olivia had tried to ask about her partner's condition but no one had an answer. The blonde had been immediately rushed in for surgery in an attempt to save her leg and stop the blood flow.

Fin and Munch were already long gone, back to the precinct to continue to work on the case. Amaro was resting and still under observation after sustaining a bad head injury upon impact.

"Excuse me, you're here with Amanda, right?"

Olivia blinked, looking up from her hands at the nurse who was peeking around the corner to the waiting room. "Yes, I'm her partner."

The woman nodded, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. Olivia paused a moment, realizing the woman had misunderstood her. Her hand twitched to grab her badge but instead she stood and smoothed down her jacket. She just wanted to see Amanda.

"I see, well... It's passed visiting hours but I'll sneak you in."

Olivia nodded, following the woman down the hall to where Amanda was now resting. She thanked the nurse, grateful to hear the door close quietly behind her. A small frown tugged at the brunette's lips as she took in the younger woman's condition.

The gash just above Amanda's temple appeared to have been stitched and covered in gauze, scratches covered her face from the shattered glass. Bruising lined a good portion of the right side of her face and upper arm. Olivia could feel her eyes beginning to burn as she pulled a chair up to the blonde's bed side.

The brunette reached out tentatively towards the cut up hand, she grasped it gently as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry." She whispered, the only response was the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor.

xxx

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_

_Running in circles, coming up tails_

_Heads on a science apart_

x

Olivia groaned, her brows furrowing as she slowly sat up from her hunched position over the hospital bed.

"Hey sleepyhead." A deep voice husked, the brunette's eyes flew open.

"Amanda?" She asked softly, her brown eyes wide in disbelief.

"Yep... I'm here, barely." The blonde said with a small grin, her eye was struggling to stay open from the swelling. "How're you feelin'?"

Olivia shook her head, not even trying to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I'm fine, you're the one everyone's worried about. How do you feel?"

"Dandy." Amanda responded without hesitation, her smile pulling a little wider. She squeezed Olivia's hand slightly, her eyes fluttering shut as pain shot up her arm.

"Hey, why don't we just take it easy... Alright?"

"Take it easy...? How long have I been in this bed... I can't feel my butt." Amanda joked, trying to hide the obvious pain she was in. Olivia frowned, her hand releasing the younger woman's much to Amanda's disappointment.

"Do you want me to get the nurse?"

"No, please? Just stay..." Amanda said weakly, all humor leaving her voice. Olivia nodded, her teeth worrying her lip as she removed her hands from the arm rests.

The two sat for a silence for a few minutes before they just started talking, about everything and anything. Olivia smiled as she noticed Amanda's eyes drooping, she placed her hand gently over the blonde's.

"Hey, how about you get some rest? I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Amanda asked, her voice soft.

"Promise." Olivia sat, watching as sleep took over the younger woman's features. She stroked the back of Amanda's hand gently with her thumb, a smile tugging at her lips as she realized Amanda had fallen asleep with a small smile of her own.

xxx

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_ Oh, take me back to the start_

x

Olivia's eyes opened suddenly, there was noise all around her. There was an erratic beeping and people were rushing up to Amanda's bed, the nurse from before grabbed her gently by the arm. "I'm sorry but you need to wait out in the hallway."

Olivia blinked, at first not understanding what was happening. Her eyes moved over towards Amanda, the color had fled the blonde's face.

Fear gripped Olivia as she rose from her chair onto unstable feet, she moved out into the hallway and nearly jumped when the door was slammed behind her.

She stared through the windows watching as the doctor and nurses were frantic to get their defibrillator prepped and revive the blonde. A nurse frowned as she closed the blinds, leaving Olivia standing in a shocked stupor.

_x_

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_

_x  
_

Olivia slid down the wall opposite Amanda's room, the sounds of frantic talking and beeping slowly fading from her mind as she tried to take in what was happening. It couldn't be real, this couldn't be happening.

She sat in the quiet hallway, unsure of how much time had passed. Her blood shot eyes only rising when the door finally opened.

The doctor approached her slowly, "Ma'am... I'm sorry, we lost her." He said gently, Olivia took in a shaky breath.

"What?"

"We were unable to revive your partner."

"I don't... I don't understand. I just spoke with her, she seemed tired but fine."

The doctor's frown deepened slightly, "Our machines showed no signs she'd regained consciousness after her surgery... I'm sorry."

Olivia shook her head, tears clouding her vision as she took in what he was saying.

_x_

_But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_ Oh and I rush to the start_

_ Running in circles, chasing our tails _

_Coming back as we are_

_x  
_

"You said you were her partner... Do you have any way of contacting her next of kin?"

Olivia shook her head, "N-no, she's from Atlanta. You'd have to contact our captain."

The doctor paused for a moment, "Alright, could you give me his number?"

Olivia nodded, her hands moving automatically to pull up the number on her phone. She looked towards the door as he jotted the number down, "Can I see her?"

"Of course."

_x _

_Nobody said it was easy _

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part _

_x  
_

The remaining nurses exited the room quietly after Olivia entered, the machinery had all been switched off. Olivia pulled her chair back up next to the bed, her hands trembling more as she sat down. _  
_

She stared at the pale and beautiful features of her friend and colleague, a heavy weight settling in her chest.

Her mind was racing, there were so many things she wanted to say. So many things she had wished she would have said. Her hands reached out to take Amanda's colder one into her own

"I'm sorry." She choked out, tears moving unrestrained down her ruddy cheeks.

_x_

_Nobody said it was easy _

_No one ever said it would be so hard _

_I'm going back to the start_

_x_

Olivia bent her head forward, her forehead brushing the back of Amanda's wrist as her hair fell across the sheet.

_"Detective Benson?" Olivia turned, her brows raised. _

_"Amanda, Rollins." The blonde said with a smile, her hand extended for a shake.  
_

_"Ah. Transfer from Dallas, right?" Olivia responds, her hand releasing the younger woman's.  
_

_"Yeah, well, Atlanta." Amanda's smile barely falters.  
_

Olivia holds the hand tighter, desperately wishing she could take it all back. She doesn't look up as the door opens, she doesn't move when a gentle hand is placed on her shoulder.

"Liv... I'm so sorry." It was Munch.

Munch and Fin are back, Cragen's voice drifts in from the hallway where he is talking to the doctor.

Fin has moved to the other side of the bed, pulling his own chair along with him.

Olivia refuses to move, her head still buried into the sheet. She fails to notice the small smile clinging to Amanda's pale lips.

* * *

Oh man... I am so sorry, I don't... This wasn't going to end this way, it just happened and I don't know if I wrote it like it happened in my head (the ending) but I just can't write it anymore... It's making me really upset. I hope it's good in a heart wrenchingly sad way.


End file.
